Cerulean
by broken-trinkets
Summary: She knew what she was doing, that there was no turning back. But then she thought of him, that he would be okay, and with that knowledge in her heart, she stepped out into the cold, ready to embrace her destiny.


Hey everyone! My first X-men story, so of course it's about Jean Grey. I'm so obsessed with her it's not even funny anymore. I've read almost every Jean-centric story on the web and decided to write one of my own. An obligatory story about Jean's thoughts as she leaves the jet; I've read so many versions of this online and decided to do my own rendition. Set in X Men 2. I will most probably write more X Men stories, and they will be based either here, or in the X Men: Evolution category, so stay tuned!

Please read and review, it would mean the world~

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And I remember your eyes were so bright, the day I met you fell so deep in love that night. I can't stand that you're perfect even when you cry, my beautiful goodbye.

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She walks out of the jet with her head held high, limping all the way. She blocks out her thoughts, so that the Professor can't sense her leaving before she manages to seal the jet and guide them to safety.

Before she leaves them forever, for the last time.

She knows what she's doing. She knows that there is no return after stepping out of the jet. That she's giving up everything she has in that moment.

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She knows she would never get to teach the kids biology again, would never get the chance to patiently explain a complicated question to them. She would never feel the inexplicable joy of being a teacher when she sees the flicker of understanding and joy in their eyes when they finally get it. She would never get hugs from the children on Teachers' Day again, she would never get the chance to tell them how honoured she is to be able to help them find themselves in their tumultuous journey. She would never get the chance to see their happy, laughing faces while goofing around with their powers in the X-mansion, the only place that has ever accepted them, again. She will never again, have that joy and warm, fuzzy feeling when she goes recruiting, to see in that child's eyes that they have finally found a place they belonged, that accepted them.

Hopefully, she left a big enough impact on their lives. Hopefully, if they ever think about straying from the good side or making a bad choice, they would think of her, and what she sacrificed for them. Hopefully, they would remember all the moral and values she tried so hard to instill in them, and hopefully? They would never feel like they were less than the humans, and remember that they were all special and unique, and that she loves them as she would if they were her own children.

She would never get the chance to laugh and crack jokes with Ororoe, the beautiful, deadly mutant who was her best friend. She wouldn't get to play chess with the Professor, her father figure and mentor, anymore. She won't have the chance to talk about current affairs and recite Shakespeare good-naturedly with Hank McCoy, the brilliant mind she is so fond of.

She will never see Scott and Logan again.

Admittedly, she felt something for Logan. He was every girls' Achilles heel. He had the whole rugged, bad boy, bad ass, to hell with you persona that would make girls swoon. He was also sweet and sincere and damn it she was only human. Of course she had to fall a little for him, he made her feel loved... In a different way from Scott. Walking out, her heart ached so much. Maybe.. If Scott wasn't in the picture they could have, would have had a future together. She could never have the chance to playfully flirt with him, or engage in witty banter with him. She could never get that warm, tingly sensation in her belly whenever he made a crude, or jealous remark about her. She would never get the chills she would get as a teenager when he walked into the room. She would never get to see his smile, that he only reserved for her. She wouldn't get the chance to see him give up on her and move on, to find another girl capable of loving him as much as he loved her. She looked down on the ground, closed her eyes and sent up a prayer, that when all was said and done, he would move on and settle down. That he would finally be happy.

Scott Summers, the love of her life. No matter how much she may feel for or love the Wolverine, it could never compare, or even hold a candle to her love for Scott. She loved him, god she loved him so much it hurt so badly. She knows he would take her death the hardest. Out of all the things she regrets, the biggest would be that she never got the chance to walk down the aisle, in that exquisite strapless white gown, with the Professor by her side, saying her vows and kissing him in front of everyone. He would never get the chance to call her his lawfully wedded wife, and they would never have any children with her vibrant red hair and his beautiful blue-grey eyes running around the mansion. They would never get the chance to grow old together, loving the other more and more each day.

As she lifted the jet up, she thought of all of them. Her family, the children, Ororoe, Hank, the Professor, even Magneto, Logan and lastly, Scott. She thought of when they first held hands, when he first saw her cry, when they went on their first date, when they made it to their six year anniversary and when he proposed. She thought of how he would hold her when she got a nightmare, of how he'd whisper into her ear and suddenly, the world doesn't seem like such a scary place anymore. She thought of how he had promised her he would never let anything happen to her, and had a rueful smile on her face. He always kept his word, had never failed her before. There was a first time for everything, she supposed. And his eyes, god she loved his eyes. She had only seen them once, as a teenager, when the Professor had a very powerful telekinetic friend of his to suppress the beams and he could finally take off those ruby glasses of his. When her eyes met his deep blue eyes, she drowned in them and was hooked ever since.

It was ironic, really. The last thing she would see before she died was the cerulean blue of his eyes, turns out she would really drown in the eyes of the man she fell in love with as a teenager.

As she felt her power lessening, she closed her eyes for the last time and thought about him. She felt the blue waters overcome her and once again, she would drown in the blue. But not for a second till her death, was she not thinking about the man she had given everything to, and had given everything up for.

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That would be all, again, reviews are most welcomed! :))


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